Christianity is not just a religion where you choose to worship God.
it's a way of life, one that challenges us always to remember, that "there are no ordinary people" and that "it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit." Once we tune ourselves to this reality, we open ourselves to imaginatively transform our lives in such a way that evil diminishes and good prevails. - Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
in 2011 i seem to be drifting further and further away from God, or i was never close enough to feel this distance. in the last week of 2011, i am starting on this book to reclaim my faith. things that i know, things that i believe in, i want to have conviction in it once again :)
- (no subject)
-
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.6)
smshan123- December 26th, 2011
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- May 2nd, 2011
Surprised and happy to find both daddy mummy at home today!
They going back HK on thurs to attend coussie's wedding!
Forgot today is public holiday and mummy took leave earlier for HK trip (usually, medical workers dont get public holiday leaves)
NOw i am suppose to be studying for my last paper (TOMORROW YAY) but just got this nua nua feeling
and this feeling of Happiness and satisfaction! :D HAHA
maybe a bit cause im listening to this nicenice piano pieces : Yiruma - Kiss The Rain and Yiruma - River Flows in You
because i am super blessed to have a lovely daddy and mummy!
and its a treat to spend one whole day at home with them both
we went out for lunch, then come home they both napped!
mummy find things to recycle, gave up and now reading the Bible
and daddy laughing over stupid youtube and tudou videos~! then choose funny ones ask me go watch hahaha
cant wait for them to retire LOL but by then i will be the one just stepping into the workforce (Someone please hire me)
i think what i work as.. is very difficult to earn money and not very feasible lol
but .. its my dream! so i shall pray for it . pray hard and see what God sends my way in 2/3 years time when i graduate :)
oh how can i forget. can credit some of my happiness to the wonderful weather today~! but maybe too breezy my nose getting blocked :)
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- April 19th, 2011
When i was a kid i would pray for a taxi to appear asap every sunday morning.
i would open my eyes and look up the road thinking for sure that because i prayed, the taxi wil arrive soon.
I had faith. Faith that He can create and plant a taxi up the road and it will drive down and appear in my sight very soon!
Somehow as i grew up, I forgot that faith i had.
I want it back now! I am going to commit more time to prayer. Because im not a kid anymore, theres so many more taxis that i have to pray for :)
Be Strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord
Psalm 31:24
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
1 John 5:14
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- March 14th, 2011
12PM:
just got back a paper ! disheartened!!
God please strengthen me!
like if get bad grades just cry and act emo is very ugly, and ppl around u how they suppose react sia!
so i must grow up! hopefully dun get use to this kind of grades.
ill try harder next time.
worried for this sem!!!! 2 mods so insecure over, so i must study harder. gogo.
but my motivations always not very high. in between will take a break. facebk. take a nap. maybe thats why cannot compete! but then since im liddat, also cannot complain la~
mummy say: dun get stuck in the mindset that you cant do well! just do!
7.30PM:
thank God for wonderful parents who supports me :)
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- March 4th, 2011
i hope its ok if i cant get an honours, really cant fight the bell curve! !
but God will lead my way after uni!
Cant believe ive reach the stage i dread: having to think about times after graduation
but say before graduating must enjoy school life first. i feel more tired then anything! i think everybody feels that way too!
studies + all the activities i cant give up really sucking away my energy. like my last post, this wk again like a daze studying for 2 midterm tests yesterday, just a little bit better because at least i slept at night.
so is this what uni life is about? studying and being in a daze
mummy say "i always believe a student who only studies is... meaningless? have to do other things to nurture ourselves"
i believe in that too! but really cant juggle!
but if i dun juggle, i will lose my soul LOL . imagine studying 24/7, whenever got time. whole brain full of studies only... no way :(
so in this way.. i have to continue struggle for 2 more years and see i can squeeze into the honours list.
actually no honours just means .. i no need find government job, maybe no need consider the teaching route!
my NGO dreams.. not going to pay well and looking at my sis.. can i rely on her to support the family? wa. thinking so old old tings!! i wan go back to good ol' time watching my dramas!!!!!
and i miss my friends.
even my hall mates! living together, yet this sem really no time to spend together.
but if our hearts are linked, even if we cant meet it shouldn't separate us. just have to trust. i trust! please trust me too.
$1 ice cream our favourite!! happy to eat with daddy mummy! :D
lololol so noob i duno how to flip pics here. can hear them cheering for me! everytime i v vexed i call home mummy will laugh at me and say
"study where can study finish one!" 书怎么读得完的啊！“
:)
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- February 13th, 2011
i'm really happy my family is so supportive of me going overseas to help communities! jie say she will even sponsor me if she's working. so i allocated 50bucks for her to take care of mwhaha.
last wk was a really weird week for me. everyday im in this daze because theres a paper due friday, and thats all thats on my mind.
when i chose the topic i knew its hard to tackle and i have little prior knowledge on the topic. but i chose it because its my interest and i want to do something related to it in the future. and i know researching on it will teach me something. ofcourse , i end up learning a lot. but knowing my faculty, in arts theres always hardly a conclusion. and im really glad its complete!!
the whole week i was working throughout the night, and sleeping from morning 6am to 11am. then theres lectures / tutorials at 12pm. then the day flies by and at night i start work again!
i really really really felt God at work this week. I prayed for peace and for help. God gave me peace when writing the paper, and sent me my sister! she was the one to call me first even though last wkends we just quarreled. lol. and i asked her to vet my paper. i experienced whats called helpless (not being able to finish 1 paragraph in 2 hours), and really understood how God is the one fully in charge. i can leave it in his hands, knowing i've tried my best with Gods strength. i have been arrogant to think that i can do anything on my own.
and its strange that when im most busy, i feel the most need to draw close to God :) reading his words and praying.
God's really like a friend. if u dont talk to him for long, u will feel distanced. whole wk nv see my friends other than hidayah and I miss them!
similarly, i want to grow closer to God, and miss him if i too long dont read his words and talk to him in prayers.
finished one paper is like passing one hurdle. and got next one coming upp! gogogo with God's strength!!!
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- September 8th, 2010
I've been dreaming a lot recently!
Random things, even sad untrue things that made me cry! might be thinking too much :) i mean, its been 8months since i've used my brain so much!
Then last night i dream i was going to go for a yamapi concert, like finally.
Then i tot " OH MY Im going to see Yamapi for real now!!" Then in the background im thinking so i can finally assess if i really do like him? because it should be different from you see the guy for real and not on tv.
Then i tot "Is this for real? am i dreaming again?"
So i tried to wake myself up. and i woke up! Yamapi's concert is still going to happen! "Its real !! YAY!!!"
Then i probably dreamt some other stuff . and when i finally woke up i realise, its not real -.- its just a dream
o wells.
someday this dream will come true. ohohoho.
Before that, lets study hard to get a cap good enough for exchange programs, yeah.
Gogo!
Today Sociology tutorial was sooo nice! class discussion was fruitful as usual, Thank God for this class! And our teacher (his name is Enrique!) gave a very clear summary of our topic (Thank God for this teacher too!). Though my concept of soci is still very weak, at least today's tutorial helped! i feel a tad more confident. still got milesssss to cover. GOGOGO!!
Ah ming ah! my dear faithful perhaps only reader! hahaha jiaayou ne! i will pray for you! lets work hard together. my exams almost same time as you!! after that we can enjoy life! hoho for now we must chiong this few months, put away other temptations and concentrate hard!! OK I MUST!! U MUST TOO!!
ok byebye!
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- August 18th, 2010
Surprise Surprise!!
Shan updating! haha
Finally an hour and a half I hope I have this time to relax a bit. Then 730 i go down for dinnner~. Since school started time has been flying by so fast. Too fast!
Actually I want update because I have much to be thankful for! So i want list them down. But I guess i want say other stuff first..
UNI started!! Last 3 or 4 years of student life so i really don't want to waste it, but also duno what to do to make it fulfilling. How ah?
Everyday feels very busy, also duno what I'm busy with! Especially since i'm already skipping many activities. But i'm having fun la!
Then..I want to learn to be independent!! Rely too much on my sis and daddy mummy for help in everything. They are my street directory, NUS school admin guidebook and every other helpline possible. How will I survive on my own? Or maybe humans aren't made to survive alone haha!
Thats why i have nice block mates :) Thankful thing no 1! So many nice people and when we talk at the corridor feel like a bunch of aunties! "Super CHEap and do MingQin's aqua hand motion." Hope we can decorate our doors / corridors together soon!
I'm also very thankful for technology. Yesterday managed to video conference with MeiMei with Mel. Wa, the Joy! Meimei is so independent and look very beautiful. I'm thankful!! Then something very cool happened! MY mummy learnt to upload photos on facebooook! O.O! And I saw photos she's taken while I'm not around. Mummy withher favourite clam chowder breadbowl from SoupsSpoon where I worked. Seeing those photos I really feel the power of technology lol. and Facebook's dominance, even mummy's generation become regular users! Cool maxmax. Happy!
Lots more to be thankful for, but I can only rmb that now my time table is finally settled! and when I look around my room, feel rather homey at least all my things are in a certain place, have lots of things and is 80% neat, feel happy!
I miss my non NUS friends. Hope they are all wellllll!
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- May 7th, 2010
ahaha!
contradicting. i realise i said i don't need to go overseas to feel like i'm on holiday.. but i'm going taiwan and hongkong !
the wonders of spontaneousness! i always imagined that one day i can suddenly book tickets and fly off for an impromptu holiday within 2 or 3 days! thought it will be super fun and exciting and maybe liberating.
now we decided and book air tixs suddenly, 2 to 3 wks before the trip.and already it feels super sudden and unbelievable. reality is so different but so fun still :)
really excited. n for HK trip, sis says we can explore hongkong! i must get to know the land i was born in better!! yatta!! exciting! and also will meet SauLing jiejie who was my wonderful virtual geog teacher (through her notes)
tongiht is shabushabu at felly's! lol at work got a uncle nicknamed steamboat. excited to eat~!
eh? doesnt felly's sound like Wendy's? should i adopt an english name for Uni? manshan is a little hard to pronounce and hard to remember. cant decide what name suits me.
freezing at work.
- (no subject)
-
- smshan123
- April 22nd, 2010
ahh. after so long! Finally have the urge to blog. but its already passed midnight! who cares. i shall write something on my rusty old blog!
yay! here i go! i wanted to sayyy..
I feel like i'm on holiday ;) haha well actually i've been on one since Dec 2009, 5months ago~~~. crazy how time flies. in dec was still thinking how i thought March is so far away, cant imagine getting my results then. now i'm think, can uni wait a while longer?So. all i can rmb is .. in January.. I was a bum..?
Feb. I worked at Soups and here and there
March I went on the long awaited journey back to Tung Luang!
April . i'm living in it. Working for the country. Acting like a OL, happily packing lunch box every other day!
Today, and many days since march, i'm (finally) feeling like i'm on holiday :) happy feeling!like, looking forward to lunch time so i can meet my friends. SikYin talking louder and louder each day! She's so pretty and sweet~! Then got AitRing coming over from her work place nearby, and ah ming bringing us kimchi pancake for lunch! that kinda things.
and my office aunties v cute. Thank God for them being around to keep me entertained.And today was fun! after work, we 3 office ppl met felicia for dinner at ION. We actually managed to complete one of the things we said we will do after 'A's! = Eat at that ramen shop!
I'm so happy! feel like we accomplished something.
ah, the big chef is so cute!
Then we walk around. eat somemore even though we so full. $1 icecreamm! I now still bloated. Then those hysterical laughs felicia has when shes full. contagious. and ahgua's ahuga moves. I feel like today laugh until very shiok! Feel very relaxed v happy :) this is the holiday~! :)
I felt it today, that no need to go overseas, no need to be free from every duty, we can take breaks and have a holiday right here in Singapore. Will make me feel very xin fu~!
(wahahahahaha. This is the thesis statement for this entry!)Ofcoz, when I reach home i realise there's many things i need to do. lol like my piano i havent practise finish and sunday i might mess up again!
but i still v happy :) holiday feel~! the day we go Equinox also holiday max. actually, everytime i go out walkwalk i got holiday feel nowadays
I think partly why i wanted to go back hk for UNi is because I think go hongkong will be sort of like studying and having holiday at the same time? but end of the day i still prefer to stay here in Singapore. Where my friends and family are. ANd i remember that there's so much more i want to do here. If i just pack up and go,i will leave many many things dangling. ONe thing i can tink of is the Laos trip I hope to go with NUS ! And so many things i want to do, but will probably never ever do if i go back to hk. ok.
Chiang Mai is a great reminder for me. and now reading Fruit Basket is also a big reminder to mee! That my life is really great. too great! I got so much more than anyone else. I need to learn to really cherish things. but sometimes people are just selfish and not easily satisfied I guess? sometimes i get dissatisfied over really small and random things. I wish i can I must learn and remember rmb rmb I'm so blessed i have to remember to give thanks for everything.
